Wow, where have I been?! It’s been almost two months since I posted here…what’s going on with me? This post will be a jumble of topics, mostly because that’s what my mind consists of these days. But at least I’m writing again, and that’s gotta count for something.

As I write this in my local park on October 1st, I have to acknowledge that this has been a very unusual summer in my world. On this perfect early autumn afternoon as I drove slowly along the road into my nearest Metropark (Wildwood Preserve), I realized I haven’t been here a single time in many months. Most years I’ve walked the trails here at least weekly and today it feels like coming home to a place I’ve missed without knowing it.

There are multiple reasons I haven’t been to Wildwood lately, the first being a road construction project that made it slightly more difficult to get here. But along with that, I’ve stuck very close to home for the entire summer, focusing on documenting the insects in my native garden more than ever. And that has actually paid off because there were a few weeks in which I discovered at least one new species in my garden every day. That’s always a rewarding feeling. And since I built a pond in late June, I wanted to spend more time observing the wildlife coming to live in and around it. When I wrote about my iNaturalist biodiversity project on July 8, I had recorded 286 species of arthropods in my yard; today I’m up to 332 species, thanks to the gorgeous locust borer beetle I found just before sunset today.

Another reason I kept close to home was so I could double-down and work on writing my book. It’s been two years since I first told some close friends that I was going to do this, and I’m starting to feel embarrassed that I haven’t produced a book yet. And while there are some family things and other obligations distracting me lately, I can’t blame anyone else for my procrastination. To be honest, I’m dealing with some massively frustrating self-doubt and fear of criticism. I know all authors go through this, but it took me by surprise. I thought I was braver than this. When I started my writing project, I came up with a title and concept that really excited me, but now I’m dragging my feet because I’m not sure I can handle the negative reviews that will surely come from some corners of the internet. It’s not that I can’t take constructive criticism, but more that this book will be a product of my heart, expressing things I care deeply about. And putting my passion project out there in an increasingly hostile world is pretty scary.

I’ve spent a lot of time reading books about writing books and attending publishing webinars, trying to reap the benefits from people who have been through this before, hoping to gain courage from their experiences. But I’m at the point where I think I’ve read everything I can possibly read about writing a book, and it’s serving as more of a delay tactic than a useful activity. I can pretend I’m “preparing,” but I’m as prepared as I’m going to get. I need to just get my behind in the chair and put the words down.

I just spent a week in Barcelona with a friend, and I’d hoped that the time in another culture and change of scenery would magically jolt me out of my slump and get me back to the book. Well that didn’t happen, but I absolutely loved Barcelona and my first taste of Spain. Our time there was much too short, and I’d love to go back for a couple weeks just to wander around and take photos of the amazing architecture and lovely narrow streets in the Gothic Quarter and El Born. I was impressed with how well-designed the city is for pedestrians and bicycles, with lots of bike lanes and wide pedestrian passages everywhere. I found this 5-minute video on YouTube that explains the “superblock” experiment Barcelona is engaged in, and it even talks about the feasibility of making this type of pedestrian-friendly change in American cities (spoiler alert: not likely). But this is one reason I love Europe, because most of their cities were designed before automobiles and are therefore already more human-friendly to begin with.

This photo shows a typical neighborhood street in the area we stayed in, L’eixample. Notice the wide pedestrian passage lined with trees, and the bike lanes on the side. Traffic is off to the left of this photo. It’s so nice to walk around and be able to admire the buildings without always having to watch out for cars.

I’m not usually particularly interested in architecture, but Barcelona awakened my interest with its many structures designed by Antoni Gaudí. The most famous one, and the one where his body was placed, is the Catholic church La Sagrada Familia. It’s been under construction for 140 years, and was planned to be finished by 2026, but the pandemic pushed its completion farther into the future. As we came up the subway stairs just yards from the construction wall of the church, I was stunned as it towered above my head. And as we spent time walking around the perimeter to see all the fascinating details, I wished I’d brought my telephoto lens and DSLR camera so I could zoom in on them. This is the first trip I’ve ever taken without my camera, so all of my pictures were taken with my phone camera, which doesn’t have a good enough zoom function for this purpose.

Seven of Gaudí’s buildings have been designated UNESCO World Heritage sites for their contribution to the development of architecture in the late 19th and early 20th centuries. I wanted to visit all of them but we didn’t have time, so we had to be satisfied with quick stops to take photos outside of a couple of them. Here’s Casa Battló, which we took a slight detour to see before dinner on our last evening. Gaudí was heavily influenced by nature, and used lots of curving lines and botanical motifs in all of his projects. I can definitely appreciate his perspective!

So there you have it, a quick hodgepodge of completely unrelated topics to explain my unusual absence for the past couple of months. Perhaps it would be better for my book-writing goal to just accept that I’ll need to take some time away from the blog so I can buckle down this winter and do it when there are no bugs outside to distract me. But then again, I’ve said that the past two winters and, well…you know. Wish me luck this time!

I’ll leave you with this last photo from the interior of Casa Vicens, Gaudí’s first masterpiece and the only one of his buildings we went inside. This sitting room ceiling detail features birds against a beautiful blue sky, making it feel like the room is open to nature. Wouldn’t it be great to have this above your bed so it could lull you to sleep each night?